Inspired by Daniel Stern's work on self-development, the authors suggest that by combining systemic therapy with a psychoanalytical aspect, family therapy can reach new depths. They argue that this will enrich our understanding of the relationships beween parents and children, and between siblings. There have been changes within psychoanalysis and family therapy which we believe can enrich both these theoretical fields. The idea is not to integrate but rather to bring about a mutual curiosity in these two areas, which may result in dialogues with each other and create reservoirs for ideas and practices which have been found to be useful.