Omid Djalili's childhood was unconventional, to say the least. He was raised in a beautiful, chaotic, cramped, colourful and legally dubious guesthouse where his parents fed and watered Iranian nationals flocking to the UK. Over twenty years almost 2000 'cousins' passed through the Djalili's doors and the young Omid played translator to each. Although these years taught him a lot about the rich tapestry of life, this parenting by committee led to a slightly chequered school career which saw Omid taking his A levels a record six times and eventually fake his own university entrance papers. Desperate to be free of his cramped living quarters he escapes to the University of Ulster where he lives a life of wonderful solitude.

Full of the warmth and intelligence that makes Omid such a successful comedian and sought-after actor, this memoir takes us on an incredible and laugh-out-loud funny journey through an unusually British life.